School
A place where Parents pay and children play

Life Insurance
A contract that keeps you poor all your life
so that you can die Rich.

Nurse:
A person who wakes u up to give you sleeping pills.

Marriage
It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters..

Divorce
Future tense of Marriage.

Tears
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine

• Have a firm handshake
• Look people in the eye
• Sing in the shower
• Own a great stereo system
• If in a fight, hit first and hit hard.

•    Never give up on anybody. Miracles happen everyday.
•    Always accept an outstretched hand.
•    Be brave. Even if you’re not, pretend to be. No one can tell  the difference.
•    Whistle.
•    Avoid sarcastic remarks.
•    Choose your